Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
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