i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
