She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
