Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
