I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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