I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
