you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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