Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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