I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
