Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
