He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
