i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
