Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's blow job season.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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