Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
