What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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