How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
