Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
