I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
