Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
