it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
that's an acceptable place to lick
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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