Will you blow on my dice?
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
