therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
