i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
