Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
