My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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