i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
