I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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