And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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