Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
