Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
