Pants 0. Shit 1.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so let's talk penis.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
