Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
