I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
