At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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