my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
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