The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
