u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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