your room smells of hookers.
And success
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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