hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Bring me that man meat
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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