Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
