You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Randomize
