Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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