I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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