she was so not down for the gang bang
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
sex in a hospital.. check
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
