A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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