Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
