Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
