No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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