I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
