My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
it was like eating out sand paper
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
