i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
